Absolutely Useless Comic Book Supervillains You Will Ever See - Daily American Buzz

Absolutely Useless Comic Book Supervillains You Will Ever See


 Walrus

Walrus
A man who claims to have all the mighty strength of a walrus – unfortunately though, since those animals are typically slower and weaker than a human, he’s saying he’s not that great
Likewise, instead of breaking into banks or taking over the world, Walrus likes to attack inanimate objects like walls and lampposts
In one comic issue, Spider-Man flicks Walrus with his index finger once, and it knocks him unconscious

 Eye Scream

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So, you know those times when you’re writing a comic book, you need a superpower so you look around the kitchen and you realise, gee, I wonder what it would be like to turn into an ice-cream
Well, meet Eye Scream the man who can melt his body down into an ice-cream substance to slip under doors and feed small children
Unbelievably, his saga only lasted one comic – how could THAT happen?

 Sportsmaster

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A man named Lawrence Crock who uses sport-themed weapons like exploding baseballs, flying bases, rocket baseball bats, knockout basketballs, lacrosse snare nets and exploding hockey pucks
He also wears sports clothes because apparently his obsession with sports wasn’t already obvious
This is his power, this is what he does – that’s like my throwing exploding modems because I work on the internet

 Mr Mxyzptlk

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An inter-dimensional imp, enemy to Superman, with a bizarre weakness that, even so, isn’t as much a weakness but more of a dumb thing
The only thing that can banish this guy from our dimension is to make him say or write his own name backwards
The problem is though, his name is already a mess that saying it backwards is just as hard – so it’s not a weakness, it’s just a bizarre thing that tends not to happen yet works somehow

 Bat-Mite

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Another inter-dimensional imp, but more of an annoyance than true enemy to Batman
He comes from a fifth dimension, too difficult to understand for us with our measly 3 dimensions
He tends to show up and idolise Batman, only disappearing when Batman tells him off to which he cries, as popularised by the animated series, “I just wanna help”

Calender Man

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This guy is a villain that only commits crimes on a given date, mainly holidays when it’s more lucrative or simpler
The only issue is, when you know the date someone is planning a crime, would you, y’know, arrest him before that day and keep him there? Criminal intention, maybe?
Likewise, his costume is entirely composed of dates, so he’s carrying around the time and dates of his every crime so all you have to do is catch him and the evidence is pinned all over his body
And his costume is bright RED, he couldn’t be more obvious in a crowd – he might actually be the worst superhero of all time, let alone this list

 Pink Pearl

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You want to know what her superpower is? She’s fat. She is EVIL because she is FAT. Okay – that’s it. She opens a male strip club, and now she’s known as a Master of Evil
So take heed ladies and gentleman – if you get fat, you’ll be labelled a dangerous criminal

 Condiment King

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A recurring villain on Batman, he wields condiment cannons to spray food toppings on superheroes, mainly mustard and ketchup
He’s generally known for his Mr. Freeze-like cringe-worthy condiment puns, like, “I knew you’d ketchup with me sooner or later,” and, “Let’s see if you can cut the mustard”
Wildly popular character, surprised he didn’t get his own feature film slash cooking documentary

 Ruby Thursday

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A scientist who develops a high-tech organic computer, but instead of selling or monetising it in any way, no, she carves up her own head and plants it smack bang atop her neck
Now the red ball she calls a face can alter its shape so she can form tentacles, fire projectiles and blasts of pure force – and as a bonus if the sphere is removed from the body, she can still control it
Now, this is just me, but I’d have just, y’know, left my head as it was and possibly used a tablet or something, because when I get a critical error I wouldn’t feel so great about not being alive anymore

 Polka-Dot Man

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So, I feel mixed about this guy since the idea is both good and horrendous
On one hand, Polka-Dot Man is covered in a suit made from polka dots that, when removed, transform into a much larger object like a weapon or even a flying saucer
But on the downside, the man is covered in a suit made from polka dots – and that is he how commits crimes
Mmmm, inconspicuous

 Egg Fu

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You know how people like to draw little faces on eggs? Let’s make one of those a supervillian, sure, that’s sounds like a ridiculously acceptable idea
So they did, and Egg Fu is a Chinese Communist house-sized egg with a twirly moustache that can whip or strangle people because why not
He also has egg relatives, and a robot twin called Dr. Yesbout his existence