THE REALEST THING HE’S EVER DONE WAS AN ACCIDENT
On March 12, Spicer showed up to the morning briefing with his American flag pin on upside down. Historically, that’s the sign of a country in distress (it’s also the logo for House of Cards). Spicer quickly fixed the pin when it was pointed out and then moved on with his day. I like to pretend “the error” was intentional and that Sean Spicer is actually a hostage who’s trying to reveal as much information to the public as possible without getting himself killed by Steve Bannon’s hired assassins (because you know that guy has hired assassins).
Say what you will about Bush the Younger’s time as President of the United States, as a retired politician he’s just a good-natured dude who likes to work on mediocre paintings. Secretly, he’s always been that way, like the time he made his angry little assistant US trade rep dress as the Easter Bunny for the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.
HE’S ALWAYS HAD A REPUTATION
In 1993, when Spicey was a senior in college, the paper published a story about some random non-smoking bill to which Spicer had contributed. Of course, the school paper actually referred to him as “Sean Sphincter.” Spicer wrote a letter to the paper, calling the obviously-not-an-error, “a malicious and intentional attack,” before concluding that calling him a name in print isn’t protected by the First Amendment.
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