White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, a gum-horking obfuscator of Irish descent, is under a tremendous amount of pressure lately. Some of that pressure is showing up on his face, which appears to be turning a familiar shade of orange.
What, exactly, is making Spean Spicer’s skin look like a different color? Why, exactly, is this happening? Is this happening, or are the photographs directly in front of me actually incorrect? And if so, did my cat vote illegally for Hillary before dying in the Atlanta attacks? These are ultimately unanswerable questions, as Spicer did not return my request for comment or put me in touch with his makeup artist, if such a person exists. However...
Some things we know: Trump is reported to care excessively about the appearance of his staffers. A source told Axios last month that “Trump hasn’t been impressed with how his new press secretary Sean Spicer dresses,” after which Spicer trotted out a series of less terrible suits.
Another thing we know: Donald Trump himself is inescapably, demonstrably orange, and appears to think that this is Good, because he keeps being orange. He is also close friends with Steve Hilbert, CEO of tanning bed/spray tan booth company New Sunshine.
And here is what I personally know, just free advice I’d like to share: The use of self-tanner, spray tans and/or bronzer is a treacherous dance when one’s skin is quite pale, best mastered over years of practice.
Let’s take a quick look at Spicer’s mug over the past few weeks.
Above is Sean Spicer, then-communications director and chief strategist for the Republican National Committee, entering Trump tower on November 16, 2016. Life is amazing, the future is bright, and his face is sporting moisturizer at an absolute maximum.
Ahoy again! Nothing to see here, just the strained grimace-smile of a man who will soon face alleged disapproval from Donald Trump for being played by a girl on Saturday Night Live.
To reiterate what Spicer’s face looked like before his press secretary appointment, here he is with a tiny salad going up the elevator of Trump Tower on November 29:
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